Behind the Angball

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1. Would Ang make a better World Heavyweight Campion than David Arquette?

Chuck Brody: Yes because he would have bitten Russo.

Chris Wood: My dining room table would have been better so Ang wins by default.

Noah Panico: No.Ang doesn’t work well with others and Ang is Greedy and wouldn’t give any of his $ to the widow of the Owen.

Sam Panico: No, Ang is very selfish and has no idea how to make other people look good. He only wants you to pet him, not pet him and feed him. Sometimes, he wants you to take him for a walk, at which time he will sit outside his carrier or bark until you realize he needs to go out.These are not the qualities of a good world champion.

Jason Kernats: Yes.

Kris Erikson: Would I prefer Ang? Sure! But I don’t think he’d be a better choice. Arquette did the right thing, at the right time and dropped the belt when he was supposed to. Ang wouldn’t do that. He’d be more like Stan Hansen with the AWA belt, taking it wherever he pleased, defending it against opponents from unaffiliated groups, and when he finally gets stripped of the belt he’d return it only after running it over with his truck.

Kingdom James: Arquette. I don’t think Ang would listen to the booker. He’d go into business for himself the moment y

2. Rapier: Ang or Randy Orton?

Chuck: Fuck Randy Orton

Chris: Randy Orton just looks the part more.

Noah: Randy

Sam: Ang hasn’t raped anyone since that girl tried to analyze me and he humped her cleavage.

Jason: I’m assuming that rapier isn’t referring to a sharply pointed sword in this question. Let’s go with Randy Orton on this one, Ang is just mean, not creepy.

Kris: Tough one, but I’ll go with Orton. Ang doesn’t actually rape anybody, he just tries to set up easy targets for Sam (disclaimer, Sam is by no means a rapist). Orton straight up does the deed himself.

Kingdom: Orton. I know Ang is violent but I don’t have any knowledge of him being a sexual predator.

3. Who would win a ladder match between Ang and “The Barking Show” Rob Van Dog?

Chuck: Ang would win because Rob Van Dog would have just eaten a big bowl of food and would not have the energy to climb a ladder. Nap time. He would lay on the back of the couch and yell at people who dare come within 500 feet of the house.

Chris: I think Rob Van Dog is more agile so I will go with him.

Noah: Ang. Ang knows what he is capable of. Rob van Dog doesn’t know his limits and would end up dead in the match.

Sam: This is interesting, because I think it all comes down to which one of them can handle more second hand smoke. Recent history has shown that the teener, Lord Abortion, the dreamer, Little Dick, whatever you call Angelo, he can party. My money is on the toothless mean one.

Jason: Rob Van Dog. Ang would go to bite him, Rob Van Dog would no sell it because Ang has no teeth. Rob Van Dog climbs the ladder, hits the 5-Star Dog Splash for the win.

Kris: Ang can’t do a split, Rob Van Dog can.

Kingdom: RVDog. I think of Ang as more of a Crusher or Bruiser or maybe even Harley Race. RVDog is built for that kind of match.

4. Would the Islanders have faired better in their feud with the British Bulldogs if they had Ang in their corner, to counteract Matilda?

Chuck: No, Islanders would have been DQ’d too many times with Ang.

Chris: Not sure. Once Ang tore Matilda apart, he would have turned on everyone else in the ring.

Noah: Matilda is the second best dog of all time. Teener is the best so I think that answers it. Islanders and Ang all the way.

Sam: Angelo has no concept of working with people, so the question is moot. Or is it? The Samoans are savages and don’t work well with others, either. That said, Ang has a really skinny ass, so they might not trust him. He exemplifies the phrase, “Bite the hand that feeds” too. An interesting question.

Jason: Yes, but Ang would turn on them. The Islanders would go to head butt Ang and sell it because Ang’s head is harder than theirs.

Kris: I think they would have. Part of Ang’s muttage is Samoan, so if Matilda tried headbutting him it wouldn’t work.

Kingdom: Better at first, then much worse. The Islanders would pick up a valuable win when Davey and Dynamite are distracted by Ang ripping Mathilda’s throat out but after that, they’d be highly motivated to seek revenge on Fatu and Samu.

5. Would you rather get your picture taken with Deek or have your hand bitten by Ang?

Chuck: Bitten hand, I don’t wanna die.

Chris: There is a shot if I catch something from Ang’s bite but there is no cure for death so I will go with the bite.

Noah: Hand bitten by Ang and for the record I have had both a few times.

Sam: 6 of one, a dozen of the other.

Jason: I can’t answer this but my photos result in painless deaths. I can’t say the same about Ang’s bites. Right, Krasman?

Kris: Both have happened, both sucked.

Kingdom: Photo with Deek. Why in the Christ would I WANT Ang to bite me?

6. Watch this video. Who has a better claim to the name “Dog Face Gremlin”, Ang or Rick Steiner?

Chuck: That video is creepier than the Hogan eyes banner. I nearly got hypnotized by that shit.

Chris: Rick Steiner

Noah: Rick. Ang doesn’t look like a gremlin he is too cute!

Sam: Ang is actually the Gremlin Faced Dog.

Kris: I watch that video a lot, but Rick Steiner will always be the DFG!

Kingdom: I had forgotten about that video. Sam, your dog really does look like a ruck storm of pure evil.

7. Jake Garrett or Ang? Seriously, just answer the fucking question!

Chuck: I’ll pick Jake, he has the ability to stab.

Chris: Jake.

Noah: Ang. Even after 19 pulled he has 9 or so left and I am pretty sure that’s more. Plus I have seen Ang eat a taco with a hard shell and I know Jake can not.

Sam: This isn’t a battle. It’s just the time that Jake must accept Ang as his spirit animal.

Jason: I’ll answer this question when I find out Jake’s real name.

Kris: As far I know, Ang does not. So there you have it.

Kingdom: Jake Garrett. I don’t know what the gag is here but I can’t bring myself to vote for Ang over Jake.

8. What would happen if Ang met Junkyard Dog?

Chuck: All depends if Ang shares Bill Watt’s booking philosophy.

Chris: Ang would be much bigger, but not naturally.

Noah: That would mean Ang was in heaven and he will not die so I don’t want to think this anymore.

Sam: I would like to think that Ang would get a bite of his cornbread and wouldn’t beg too much.

Jason: Ang would walk away with some sweet tights that say THUMP. If Ang went to find JYD’s grave, he wouldn’t be able to – he’s buried in an unmarked grave. Does everyone know this or just me?

Kris: Ang would grab them cakes with what few teeth he has left in his little head. JYD wouldn’t stand a chance. It’s also in Ang’s favor that JYD has been dead for years.

Kingdom: Sam would be charged with several crimes for digging up Sylvester Ritter’s body and letting his dog chew on the dead man’s bones.

Good night, everyone. Ang is asleep.

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One thought on “Behind the Angball

  1. Scotty sent me his replies…

    1. Perhaps.

    2. I have it on good authority that Randy Orton actually raped Ang, thus
    creating the toothless monster that haunts Pittsburgh today.

    3. Wrong. They are both marsupials.

    4. Perhaps.

    5. I don’t know what this means, but every pic I’ve seen of Deek has been awesome.

    6. Steiner… Ang is too satanic to have such a cute nickname.

    7. Well yeah, everybody knows that Ang was the one who cut Magnum’s brakes.

    8. Some white bitches would get their assholes ripped apart… Sam and I
    would most likely trade the tape back & forth.

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