Smackdown: I get that Show/Sheamus is part of it, but it really seems secondary to the RAW storylines.

For those unaware, CM Punk had emergency surgery on his knee on Tuesday. He was apparently trying to be a company man and “Tough it out” but something came back that forced him under the knife quickly. Thus, he got “tooken out,” to borrow a turn of phrase from O’l Dirty Bastard, and will miss the PPV.

I bring this up because the entirety of Smackdown felt like they were patching holes. I would hate to think that the product that aired on Friday night was what they had planned as they went off air last week.

I understand that the PPV is 9 days away. In theory, I love the idea that they are patching their holes with promotional materials for the upcoming PPV. However, they repeated everything so much that it became background noise, bereft of meaning or motivation. You motivate people through making them want to see a match, not by constantly reminding them of when the PPV is or what matches are on it.

We open with Booker T having a contract signing. The contract is a LAW… because Booker doesn’t understand what the word law means. The contract stipulates that Show and Sheamus aren’t allowed to touch each other until their match or they lose their title or title match, respectively. They both come down to the table in the ring and jaw. I really like the logic Big Shwo has puit into his promo as of late. He points out that he took 30 some chair shots last time and still got up, whereas Show only needs to his Sheamus once. Then, in a an act of childish heelism, after Sheamus signs his, Show throws the table at Sheamus and then quickly signs the No Contact Clause Contract, making it so Sheamus can’t retaliate. Stupid and funny and well done.

Show then immediately went into his match with Daniel Bryan. Good little story of Bryan getting aggressive and having counters and being able to get out of the way, but all show needs is one opportunity and he can win. Finish saw Bryan go to the top, get distracted by the Shield coming through the crowd, and get choke slammed off of the top rope for the loss. Show leaves, the Shield puts the boots to Brian and Kane comes out for the safe, only to take a beating as well and get tossed onto the announcer’s desk.

I realize it was supposed to be a power bomb through the announcers’ desk, but that didn’t really happen. Reins tossed Kane more than “bombed” him and the top section of the desk stayed intact, it was just that the desk collapsed.

Damien Sandow did his quiz bit. Miz came down and insulted him after. Then Sandow… didn’t have a match. Another patch for another hole?

Speaking of stretching time, Brodus got his full entrance. He was teaming with the Usos. They took on the three man band. The best part of all of this is that the announcers refuse to sell the gimmick. JBL tries to say that he admires their success, even if what has sparked it is ridiculous. “It’s air guitar,” said Mathews. “Yes. It is,” replied JBL.“ You obey the streak, to paraphrase from Ol’ Dir… I mean Kevin Cosner.

Honestly, not a terrible match. I think the Usos will do well in TNA.

Randy Orton and Wade Barrett. Randy has given Barrett a win before. You know that doesn’t happen often. You double know that he has to give it back in spades. Kofi is on commentary so that after all of the back and forth occurs, he can be involved. In this case, Barrett tried to remove the turnbuckle pad. Kofi jumped up onto the ring apron and started yelling about it, trying to get the ref’s attention. Barrett gets distracted by this and walks into an RKO. Not a clean win, so it felt less like it was “back to the way things are.” It adds fire to the IC match they will have, so I begrudgingly approve of this Randy Orton match.

Khali and Hornswoggle took on the Colons. Yep. Remember how I said they were filling holes?

Antonio cut a promo name checking (and girth checking?) Dusty Rhodes. Truth came out and made it a Nationalism match. I think they can have a good match, I just haven’t been wild about the build on it. I hope they steal the show.

Sheamus took on ADR in the main event. Show came to the ramp to watch. I think they are gearing Cesaro to be like AdR: They feel that he can lose a match or two and not lose any luster. Sheamus clean tapped del Rio out with the Cloverleaf because why not. You have to make Sheamus a viable threat, but the WWE doesn’t have anyone analogous to Big Show, so you give Sheamus as many big wins as you can.

After the win, Show came down tot try and get Sheamus to hit him. Play a little lawyer ball, because we all know the Irish have short tempers and love to drink. Show closes his eyes and waits for the Brogue Kick… and Sheamus throws Ricard Rodriguez into Show’s dick. I think it would be great if Ricardo was in a neck brace on his next TV appearance. I am not sure that gets him around the rules. You can throw things (or people) at each other and it doesn’t count as contact? Why not grab a baseball or brick?

Smackdown ends without an appearance from Punk (knee,) Cena (food poisoning,) AJ (makin’ my biscuits) or Ryback (getting pumped full of HGH.) But we do get to see Show sell his nuts.

-Ryan

About Ryan

I am a pretty small cog in the wrestling machine. I work locally here in Pittsburgh as a commentator. I have done a tour of Japan as an announcer and manager. I am the biggest mark of the group, and I openly admit it. Oh, and my dad is Harley Race.

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