1. Kurt Angle had the hottest wrestling wife evr. Do me a favor and tell me about the fantastic first date you would have with Karen Angle.
Noah Panico: I would take her to her family’s resteraunt/bar downtown so we could get cheap drinks. Then I would take her to Kurt’s restaurant and hope for a free meal. If we don’t get either it will at least be awkward on her!
Sam Panico: I would take her to Kurt Angle’s Foodies Cafe in the Strip District. We’d have a nice conversation, but Kurt would keep staring at her with his pilled up, hate-filled eyes. Minutes after we exchange a hug and a promise of hanging out soon, Wrestling’s Only True Gold Medalist and La Brujera have violent, hate-fueled sex in the freezer, their passionate cries disturbing a table full of small children there for a tour.
Scotty Metropolis: Arby’s and a Duck Dynasty marathon… Therefore, if she had a bad time & left, I would barely notice because I would be just fine.
Kris Erickson: I’d take her to Hot Doug’s on a Saturday, so we could get duck fat fries.
2. Lots of times when I’m read the dirt sheets or a web site connected to them, my computer crashes. Mainly because I may or may have not stepped on my laptop, Also, a very realistic (and 99% accurate theory) is that my girlfriend intentionally stepped on it. Do me a favor and tell me a story about you seeking PPV results when you didn’t have them readily available.
Noah: I have none of these stories because I don’t care about PPVs or
wrestling in general.
Sam: When we were kids, we would stay up late on Sunday nights to watch the George Michael Sports Machine. Not that one. The other one. He would show results.
Scotty: My old television used to broadcast the audio pefectly on ppvs & the
video was split down the middle, with the right side of the screen on
the left side of my television, and vice versa. It would often
unscramble for a minute at a time… I honestly watched WWF, WCW, and
HBO Boxing PPVs for years like this.
Kris: In the old days, if I didn’t get to see a ppv I’d just wait til the next weekend to see the results.
3. Nacho and Rocco vs. the Road Warriors. Do me a favor and tell me how awesome it would be to hear Gorilla Monsoon comment on this one.
Noah: Although I love Rocco the dummy and I didn’t hate Nacho Liber I don’t
think those 2 have any chance against the road warriors even with Hawk
dead and Draws in a wheelchair. I think this would still be a squash
Sam: I think we can all agree: Missy Hyatt is gonna get destroyed.
Scotty: It would be fantastic. I’m not sure if Monsoon could accurately describe the level of violence (assuming there was a female ref) in
his trademark quips… But I would love to hear “Rocco Siffedi is
clearly the brains, amongst other things, behind this outfit… And
this guy Nacho, is really put together!”
Kris: It would be alright.
From Kingdom James:
4. If you could book one main event from the all-time roster of the
original ECW, what would it be?
Noah: Hawk vs. Sneak
Sam: DC Drake vs. Tony Stetson. You did say the original ECW.
Scotty: Chris Benoit vs Eddie Guerrero (somehow) in a big-time PPV type
atmosphere… Not sure if that is as original as your looking for, but
the original roster couldn’t touch this match. Nor could anything
Kris: Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka v Headhunter B
5. Excluding Jesse Ventura (because he’ll run as an independent) which wrestlers would make the best Republican and Democratic nominees for
President of the United States in 2016.
Noah: Republican JBL Democrat – Viscera
Sam: Vince as King of the World post Apocalypse, a blind mad idiot god on the precipice of hell. Or JBL and Kane.
Scotty: Damien Sandow vs Lanny Poffo
Kris: Chicky Starr and Bruiser Bedlam
6. What would the theme song for our site be?
Noah: I am working on a new one now actually. I would like everyone to send
me a list of samples they want to hear in the song. Also does everyone
think I should do a lot of interesting stereo effects to make the song
sound really trippy in headphones?
Scotty: Without a doubt “Are You Ready For The Sex Girls?” by The Gleaming
Spires… Roll Tape
Kris: The Carioca by Jonathan and Darlene Edwards
7. Do you call anything non-wrestling in your life something
wrestling? For example, our old toilet was called Goldbowl because it
wouldn’t tap out to the biggest shits and flushed anything. So, how
Noah: yes everything. I had a conference call not end well last week and I
said what a schmooze that call was and what a screw job finish.
Sam: Everything. All the time. This question is over with me.
Scotty: My upstairs television watching room is known as The Squared Circle.
8. Are you excited that Andy finally got his holiday towels?
Noah: I am because that means my holiday schedule is here. and I went and
got my mail Sunday night and it was. I already threw it away.
Sam: I thought that Facebook post was a retweet from some shitty comedian or comic book artist. I didn’t realize the holiday towels were real.
Scotty: Absolutely. New towels during a dry spell are essentially a fresh face.
Kris: It’s almost as exciting as a visit from the DeClan Childe.