Elimination Chamber

We were going to record a podcast about the show, but look…it was painful enough thinking about this show once. Only Sam had the gumption to revisit it.

If you were looking last night, we were tweet crazy during the show. You can read our tweets and follow us at http://twitter.com/#!/countinglights

Raw chamber
The main event, pretty much, was up first. And what happened was absolutely nothing. They were already shaving time by the first few guys in. Then, Punk did his Randy Savage elbow, which is only called that for the first part of the move. Nobody has ever done a worse flying elbow, so he would not be part of the eightball elbow debate. Jericho came in and beat Ziggler, who took an awesome bump for the Codebreaker and Kofi, who tapped to the Walls of Jericho. Then, for some reason, Jericho did an injury angle that lasted the whole show for a bump that didn’t look scary at all. Pay $60 to tune in to Raw tomorrow night. If they still had a 900 line, they would have pushed that all night. Except Jericho is a heel (well, maybe, who can tell) and we shouldn’t care. Back in the ring, Miz was trying to be a hard ass, but it came off as pissy and like someone who doesn’t understand that the big part of getting heat on someone is giving them time to sell and register your offense. The crowd didn’t buy it, Punk came back, champ retains.

Throughout the show, Santino did Rocky spots.

Beth Phoenix vs. Tamina Snuka
They built the Superfly Splash well. And then, Beth kicked out at 2. Remember when people would save a finish by getting their foot on the ropes? Yeah.

There was a John Laurinaitis angle here where Christian and Del Rio came back. Again…this is a very expensive Raw.

Smackdown chamber
This was the exact opposite of the Raw chamber match. Big Show took out Khali early, then got pinned by Cody Rhodes…who got pinned right away by Santino, so it wasn’t like he was getting a push out of this. Santino also pinned Wade and lasted awhile against Daniel Bryan before tapping to the Labelle Lock. They did an interesting spot where Big Show broke into Bryan’s chamber pod and basically prison fucked him. Also, at one point, Dan Bryan got powerbombed into the chamber and that looked like it sucked for all involved. Dudes had erections for bumping into the metal tonight.

After the match Sheamus came out and bumped Dan Bryan, because that’s what faces do, come out and take advantage of guys who just wrestled in what is one of the most dangerous matches in the business.

Backstage, Hornswoggle ate cheese and Natalya farted. It’s bad enough his dad used to roofie his mom’s orange juice to fuck her in the ass while she was passed out. Allegedly. I guess the great way Bret and the Hart family were being treated is over – at least until the next DVD set. They ended up making Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel, a match that might have fucked with the betting. It did not.

John Cena vs. Kane
For all the involvement of Eve and Zack Ryder in this angle, they didn’t show up here. This was an alright match. A bit – well, totally – long. I love when I see wrestlers post about finishes online. Some of them were mad that Kane lost. Umm…Mania is next. Kane had to lose. How long have you been in the business? Let me say this in my Les Thatcher voice: It’s about making money, gentlemen.

We saved the PPV with a replay of the Chandler Biggins match and the Tony Atlas Kayfabe COmmentaries shoot, which might be all we talk about for the rest of Counting the Lights. It was…well, plan on hearing lots about it.

One thought on “Elimination Chamber

  1. Btw, anyone notice Tyler Black getting some good screen time during the segment at Cena’s gym? Post Mania call up?

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