So I am a member of Nexus. I am standing in the ring watching the WWE superstars that are coming out to stand in opposition to us. There are some pretty big names, but we have the numbers on them. Also, one is the Great Khali, who moves like one of those walking tress from the Lord of the Rings, but less graceful. Still, I know that we have the numbers on them, and that is always the big decider. With six guys out there, Cena indicates there is one more, and my heart sinks.
Who could it be? Orton? It’s probably Orton. He hates us. Maybe a returning HHH. That would be fucking disastrous for us. Perhaps a returning Undertaker? I mean, we might have been the ones to put him into his vegetative state. Maybe those suck ups from NTX v2.0 joined the crusade against us? that would mean we are way out manned. This could be real trouble.
Now, imagine the wave of euphoric relief when Bret Hart’s music plays.
The final guy to oppose our Jingoistic consolidation of power is a 50 year old lesbian that had a stroke. To give you an idea of how little of a threat he is, when they all charge to the ring, Khali gets there before him. We all retreat, knowing the battle will be ours, just on another day.
Also, Edge will probably betray them and come over to our side.
In all honesty, it wasn’t a bad spot. Revealing the opposition is one of those times when I think you can burn some TV minutes to sell teh story. The biggest issue was how slow the reveal itself was. Everyone got a few seconds of intro music and pose time. Were this a posse looking for revenge, it would have seemed that they would have charged the ring en masse, angry and looking for blood. Instead they all slowly coalesced into a well blocked stage shot before the big moment.
Also, Bret Hart can be hidden in a match like this… but that doesn’t mean you use him in ring. He is over… but this angle is as well. It doesn’t need Brett. Give the rub to a guy who need sit and let Bret manage the Hart Dynasty.
Barrett had a solo match. The worlds strongest man put him over, and Barrett got Henry up for that back-killing slam he does. I hope he had some Aleve backstage. It wasn’t a good match, but it got the Nexus some in ring time, which i think is necessary to establish them as actual threats. Show that they can work in the ring.. and what they do outside of it seems even more heel and heinous. Also, I can’t hate Mark Henry because he is what he is: a big slow mound of big man spots. He isn’t trying topes (unless Noah has him on Raw v. Smackdown. Then he flies like an enormous black angel.)
The evening was kind of imbalanced. It would go from a pretty good TV match to something that bored be from the get go almost without rhyme or reason. I really liked the Edge/Jericho/Orton match and the mic work with it. I really liked Sheamus and Evan Borne. I liked the Miz’s promo and attack. I didn’t get why there are stips like “he has to be awake” when no one has ever cared about that before, but that is fine as long as those rules are obeyed later. I thought these were all bright spots within the show. This was even more surprising to me as I don’t normally like the work of at least 2 of the participants.
But all of these bangers were encased in the Yorkshire pudding of matches like Eve vs Maryse and Santino/Koslov v. Regal/Ryder. Man, just let Regal have a match with Santino. Give them 10 minutes. Let everyone know what they are capable of, then the comedy matches have a little more prospect of hope and reason to tune in.
So yeah, this was a RAW of no gray. It was all black or white. Some really good stuff sandwiched in between what clearly looked like filler.
-Ryan