Behind the Random Ball

1. Ultimate Warrior

Super Giant Ninja: COFFEE

Noah Panico:  Jim Warrior. Did you know the original UW died and they replaced him with a new one? That’s why he wore a singlet when he came back and had different hair.

Sam Panico: That’s g-y-m.

Ryan Clark: For all the shit I give him, what I think of most is calling a double clothesline spot “warrior/hogan.”

Kris Erickson: Big Jim used to shill for a car dealer in Dallas. Today, he looks like Sting should.

Sam and Kris as Scott: I don’t know, I got drunk and painted the head of my dick.

2. Junkyard Dog

Super Giant Ninja: Black Hogan

Noah Panico: Don’t Sleep and Drive

Sam Panico: He was late for a graduation party.

Ryan Clark: Grab them cakes! Also, his ass sai thump. Also, he was in ECW. Also, he was in the first ladder Match.

Kris Erickson: Rain barrels full of pills.

Sam and Kris as Scott: I don’t know, I was hammered and he may or may have been a real dog

3. Fabulous Moolah

Super Giant Ninja: 3/10 would nail

Noah Panico: The Spider Women. I think she used to do May Young but I am not sure.

Sam Panico: She used to manage Sabu. No, not that one.

Ryan Clark: Screwed Wendi richter out of the women’s title as the spider.

Kris Erickson: I guess she was in the first shoot I ever saw.

Sam and Kris as Scott: Fat fat something Pittsburgh fat

4. Koko B Ware

Super Giant Ninja: Bird meng! The first match I remember being excited about was him on some random episode of Monday Main Event.

Noah Panico: One of my favorites of all time! The WWF also used to sell Frankie Poop. It sold out every show because they only had 2 or 3 bags per event.

Sam Panico: Once, they made WWF watches. Out of every guy in the WWF in 198X, Noah picked…Koko. Also, the stiffest dude ever. Just watch one of his WWF squashes.

Ryan Clark: Chad Rapp popped when I said I  would “be there like Koko B. Ware.”

Kris Erickson: Vastly underrated. Hell of a dropkick.

Sam and Kris as Scott: Black people

5. Tully Blanchard

Super Giant Ninja: That match with Magnum TA. Made weird noises in the ring. It was never the Horsemen again without him.

Noah Panico: Do you think he was pissed when Magnum taught his children how to drive? I see the irony there you should too!

Sam Panico: He was much better than I remembered. In the ring.

Ryan Clark: A tie between the slingshot suplex and the I quit match with whosits.

Kris Erickson: His dad’s name was Joe. Cocaine.

Sam and Kris as Scott: Intentionally left blank.

6. Super Machine

Super Giant Ninja: Nothing

Noah Panico:  Jinji is awesome. I just saw him and he had on a new sick mask!

Sam Panico: I am such a mark for Super Strong Machine. Machine Windmill Devil Suplex!

Ryan Clark: Noah yelling “where the fuck is the machine wheel? When he would use junji hirada.

Kris Erickson: I like Super Strong Machine.

Sam and Kris as Scott: Drunk. Rocco Siffredi.

7. Jake Roberts

Super Giant Ninja: I loved him as a kid. Love his promos. Don’t love his matches.

Noah Panico:  I just saw him too. He talked about farting.

Sam Panico: King of samples.

Ryan Clark: He was so awesome when he did his initial fed run.

Kris Erickson: What is that, chocolate?

Sam and Kris as Scott: Drunk. Drunk. Tired.

8. Barry Windham

Super Giant Ninja: Should have been more.

Noah Panico: Sam loved him. I liked his white and yellow boots best.

Sam Panico: All time favorite.

Ryan Clark: He was fake sting!

Kris Erickson: My all time favorite American wrestler. I wish he wouldn’t have fucked off.

Sam and Kris as Scott: My boy Jibbity Joobity once washed Barry Windham’s car, then they had Mr. Pibbs with Seka.

One thought on “Behind the Random Ball

  1. I could have sworn that I answered these pathetic entries myself. Super sorry you fat, uptight fat-fucks are so uptight that you eat everything in sight to cope with being so damn fat & uptight.

    1. Ultimate Warrior
    Such a physical specimen. Maybe not the most scientific wrestler, or the most fundamentally sound.

    2. Junkyard Dog
    Charisma, to say the least. Maybe not the most scientific wrestler, or the most fundamentally sound, but he was a trailblazer for his kind – Dogs.

    3. Fabulous Moolah
    A trail-blazer for Moolahs everywhere.

    4. Koko B Ware
    Not the most fundamentally technical bird trainer, but a trailblazer for people of his ilk – Fat drop-kickers.

    5. Tully Blanchard
    Not the most fundamentally handsome of his day, but he had a great collar-and-elbow.

    6. Super Machine
    Not the most scientific machine, but a fundamentally sound machine, to say the least.

    7. Jake Roberts
    Not a real herpetologist, fundamentally or scientifically.

    8. Barry Windham
    Barry Windham? Barely Knewhim… Not the most fundamentally sound joke that I used there, but a scientifically proven joke structure to say the least.

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