1. Ultimate Warrior
Super Giant Ninja: COFFEE
Noah Panico: Jim Warrior. Did you know the original UW died and they replaced him with a new one? That’s why he wore a singlet when he came back and had different hair.
Sam Panico: That’s g-y-m.
Ryan Clark: For all the shit I give him, what I think of most is calling a double clothesline spot “warrior/hogan.”
Kris Erickson: Big Jim used to shill for a car dealer in Dallas. Today, he looks like Sting should.
Sam and Kris as Scott: I don’t know, I got drunk and painted the head of my dick.
2. Junkyard Dog
Super Giant Ninja: Black Hogan
Noah Panico: Don’t Sleep and Drive
Sam Panico: He was late for a graduation party.
Ryan Clark: Grab them cakes! Also, his ass sai thump. Also, he was in ECW. Also, he was in the first ladder Match.
Kris Erickson: Rain barrels full of pills.
Sam and Kris as Scott: I don’t know, I was hammered and he may or may have been a real dog
3. Fabulous Moolah
Super Giant Ninja: 3/10 would nail
Noah Panico: The Spider Women. I think she used to do May Young but I am not sure.
Sam Panico: She used to manage Sabu. No, not that one.
Ryan Clark: Screwed Wendi richter out of the women’s title as the spider.
Kris Erickson: I guess she was in the first shoot I ever saw.
Sam and Kris as Scott: Fat fat something Pittsburgh fat
4. Koko B Ware
Super Giant Ninja: Bird meng! The first match I remember being excited about was him on some random episode of Monday Main Event.
Noah Panico: One of my favorites of all time! The WWF also used to sell Frankie Poop. It sold out every show because they only had 2 or 3 bags per event.
Sam Panico: Once, they made WWF watches. Out of every guy in the WWF in 198X, Noah picked…Koko. Also, the stiffest dude ever. Just watch one of his WWF squashes.
Ryan Clark: Chad Rapp popped when I said I would “be there like Koko B. Ware.”
Kris Erickson: Vastly underrated. Hell of a dropkick.
Sam and Kris as Scott: Black people
5. Tully Blanchard
Super Giant Ninja: That match with Magnum TA. Made weird noises in the ring. It was never the Horsemen again without him.
Noah Panico: Do you think he was pissed when Magnum taught his children how to drive? I see the irony there you should too!
Sam Panico: He was much better than I remembered. In the ring.
Ryan Clark: A tie between the slingshot suplex and the I quit match with whosits.
Kris Erickson: His dad’s name was Joe. Cocaine.
Sam and Kris as Scott: Intentionally left blank.
6. Super Machine
Super Giant Ninja: Nothing
Noah Panico: Jinji is awesome. I just saw him and he had on a new sick mask!
Sam Panico: I am such a mark for Super Strong Machine. Machine Windmill Devil Suplex!
Ryan Clark: Noah yelling “where the fuck is the machine wheel? When he would use junji hirada.
Kris Erickson: I like Super Strong Machine.
Sam and Kris as Scott: Drunk. Rocco Siffredi.
7. Jake Roberts
Super Giant Ninja: I loved him as a kid. Love his promos. Don’t love his matches.
Noah Panico: I just saw him too. He talked about farting.
Sam Panico: King of samples.
Ryan Clark: He was so awesome when he did his initial fed run.
Kris Erickson: What is that, chocolate?
Sam and Kris as Scott: Drunk. Drunk. Tired.
8. Barry Windham
Super Giant Ninja: Should have been more.
Noah Panico: Sam loved him. I liked his white and yellow boots best.
Sam Panico: All time favorite.
Ryan Clark: He was fake sting!
Kris Erickson: My all time favorite American wrestler. I wish he wouldn’t have fucked off.
Sam and Kris as Scott: My boy Jibbity Joobity once washed Barry Windham’s car, then they had Mr. Pibbs with Seka.