Let’s hear it for the UWF! EIGHTBALL

1. Herb Abrams
Scotty Metropolis: Good on spaghetti.

Super Giant Ninja: Who?

Noah Panico: I assume he is a POS like all other promoters. But for some reason people like Wood love him. Probably because they never worked for him.

Sam Panico: He died covered in coke and strippers. I call that a win.

Ryan Clark: I know him in name only.

Chris Wood: Vaseline and hookers, but not in a good way.

2. Boris Zhukov
Scotty Metropolis: Good on The Bullwinkle Show.

Super Giant Ninja: Kid toucher.

Noah Panico: I saw him wrestle on a NWA PPV under his old gimmick. I could tell it was him by his size 8.5 head.

Sam Panico: Noah knows the size of his head.

Ryan Clark: One half of the Bolsheviks in the WWF. I remember them, but only as a afterthought to Nikolai teaming with the Iron Sheik.

Chris Wood: Always thought he was horrible.

3. Terry Gordy
Scotty Metropolis: Good on WCCW vignettes.

Super Giant Ninja: The best big man ever.

Noah Panico: My favorite member of the birds. But that’s like picking gonorrhea as my favorite STD.

Sam Panico: Not a good Executioner, but an awesome wrestler. Also, peed on people. #reallydave

Ryan Clark: The tallest mound of cocaine EVER. He is why i call a thumb to the throat the Asiatic spike.

Chris Wood: unfortunately, the first thing that comes to mind is The Executioner

4. Col. DeBeers
Scotty Metropolis: Good on draft.

Super Giant Ninja: Racist.

Noah Panico: DeBeers was a good hand. Andy tells the story of him passing around a hat to get a pay day to make his match go on. I had to tell the story since Andy is too busy to answer 8ball.

Sam Panico: I love Col. DeBeers so much and wish he had a fed run.

Ryan Clark: I know him in name only.

Chris Wood: Not UWF related but all I think of is Kerry’s leg.

5. Paul Orndorff
Scotty Metropolis: Good on shower slippers.

Super Giant Ninja: Totally underappreciated.

Noah Panico: He once farted on Deek. That’s always my answer for him.

Sam Panico: We made this video:

It was over 9,000 views.

Ryan Clark: The best pile driver in the business. Reports that he farted on Deek have never been verified.

Chris Wood: Had a cage match with Steve Williams in the UWF. I have the tape!

6. Cactus Jack
Scotty Metropolis: Good on Celebrity Wife Swap.

Super Giant Ninja: Ruined pro wrestling.

Noah Panico: He used to travel the world wrestling with one outfit. I don’t think he had a bag but if he did it would be filled with a pair of wrestling boots and Tuna.

Sam Panico: Lost a UWF lumberjack match to Jimmy Snuka via countout.

Ryan Clark: A song that Sam and I did at a talent show in college. Consisted of an E chord (performed with alternating voicing). The bridge was we stopped playing and Sam deadpanned the line “I’d rather hurt a man than love a woman.”

Chris Wood: He paid his dues in a lot of shitty organizations before finally getting a break.

7. Bob Orton Jr.
Scotty Metropolis: Good on the old TNT show.

Super Giant Ninja: Ace is the man.

Noah Panico: His son is the most overhyped worker of modern times. He also has the 2nd longest raining arm injury of all time next to Mike Sharpe.

Sam Panico: His wife must have been hot.

Ryan Clark: He had two nicknames. “Ace” “Cowboy” was a trendsetter.

Chris Wood: Unfortunately he reproduced.

8. Dr. Death Steve Williams
Scotty Metropolis: Not Good on Brawl For It All.

Super Giant Ninja: I never got him. A poor man’s Bob Roop.

Noah Panico: The name says it all. Oh and the World’s Turning!

Sam Panico: He had the dumbest mask ever in WWE. He also tore his ass in Tough Enough. That said, everything else he ever did was fucking awesome.

Ryan Clark: I know most associate him with the Dr. Bomb, but in my head it was always the backdrop driver. It just looked brutal.

Chris Wood: Actually worked in both versions of the UWF. And had a cage match with Paul Orndorff. I have the tape!

2 thoughts on “Let’s hear it for the UWF! EIGHTBALL

  1. Deek sent answers in after the bell. Here they are:

    1. What else can really be said about him except “Let’s hear it for the Jews!”
    2. Big head
    3. He died 3 times
    4. He wouldn’t wrestle Kingdom James
    5. Fart
    6. Wore Sam’s shirts
    7. Hep C
    8. He chopped me and knocked me into a wall when I asked him for a picture. Then he and Gordy stood there and laughed. It was great.

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