Smackdown: Lacks seasoning. Needs spice.

Is it me, or does Smackdown just feel less important? I mean, I get that it inherently is, but anymore I just don’t care what is going on. I know it’s the B show, but the angles on here just seem less interesting. Throw away ideas.

To be fair, I always am bored when Randy Orton shows up. The #2 face comes down to tell the #1 face that he wasn’t there to help him on Monday night. No, he went to kick some ass for his own gratification. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, one of your top faces isn’t in this to help other people. Orton’s next face move is to grow a little box mustache and do the roman salute to everyone.

Deek would pop.

Anyway, Orton and Sheamus both want the World title and will both enter the Rumble. Because neither of them ever get title shots. Orton needing the Rumble win to get a title shot is like Cena needing it: pointless.

Show comes out and says whomever wins gets a punch, not the title. I like his promos as of late: To the point and logical. Cesaro joins them and insults all of them. This summons Booker and a match is made. Tag team turmoil and no one here likes anyone else.

The 3MB gimmick is a great example of what I was talking about earlier. The WWE hasn’t given you a reason to care about them. They are barely there. And yet, there they are on the TV. 2/3rds of them get kicked out of ringside? Ooooh, that is rebellion right there. Now I WANT to see Heath Slnnnnsssss….. zzzzzz… whuh? Oh, yeah, sorry. Anyway, Miz wins over Heath Slater. Or course he does. He is (almost) getting a push and Heath Slater… is Heath Slater.

I think that given a real chance and a good angle, the Colons could get over huge. I think they have a ton of talent. Instead, they are wrestling a midget, a lady who used to be chronically flatulent and a walking tree from Lord of the Rings. Again, what has the WWE done to make you care about ANYTHING from this match? Hell, Horswoggle was just born this week. Should he even be wrestling?

Finally, something I care about. IC title rematch. Kofi vs Wade Barrett. Good match. I have detailed my issues with Barrett’s gimmick, but I still like him. They did a few two many false finishes, but I thought they were all done well. I am also glad Barrett doesn’t do the Wasteland as a false finish. It just looks painful to do. The Black Hole Slam is fine. Good finish with the dodged bull hammer into another bull hammer used as a counter to a dive.

Both singles champs on Smackdown use KO strikes. Just throwing that out there.

Tamina Snuka looked good in the 2 min they gave her. Layla looks like someone who is biding time until they are released or their contract is up.

Finally we get our big tag team extravaganza! Man, I just didn’t care. I get that Orton is back and that is the draw, but… it didn’t draw for me. Cesaro is being built as this monster of strength because he can get Khali up in the Neutralizer, but it doesn’t look impressive. Also, he is shorter than your average WWE star, so putting him in the ring with Sheamus and Big Show doesn’t do him any favors. Then , Orton tosses him around like he is Rey Rey. The exposure is good, but they need to retool what they are doing with him a bit.

Sheamus brings himself in with a blind tag from Orton and Orton pouts a few yards from the ring. Then When Sheamus is looking for the Brogue Kick, he sneaks in and RKOs Cesaro. Thus, Sheamus is left to stand there with his pecker in his hand. Orton gives him a hand motion as if to say “Here, go ahead and rape him. I laid him out for you.”

I have to think that he got to hit a kick after the cameras turned off. I can’t see them not giving the people a brogue kick. Unless the RKO was supposed to take care of that? Send them home, happy?

Did any of that (save the IC match) make you want to see what happens next week?

-Ryan

About Ryan

I am a pretty small cog in the wrestling machine. I work locally here in Pittsburgh as a commentator. I have done a tour of Japan as an announcer and manager. I am the biggest mark of the group, and I openly admit it. Oh, and my dad is Harley Race.

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