Is it a bad idea to start off the show with my drink prepoured? Probably, but after last week, I deserve a drink. That Diva laden abortion was unwatchable, save the excellence of Ryder vs. Goldust.
We start with JTG and I take a sip. Black Medallion makes me feel a little better about this, but not much. His opponent is Chavo, so I will take my eyes off the monitor and actually watch the match. I have always loved Chavito and he should be able to carry JTG to something watchable, at least. Some standing switches to start and JTG takes it to the mat. No really. More standing wrestling and JTG goes for the pin with a shoulderblock. Chavo works over JTG in the corner and locks on an armbar/crossface submission. The match moves outside and we shockingly do not go to commercial. Chavo dropkicks JTG to the floor, snipes him, rolls him into the ring, and hits the into the ring senton. A keylock is countered with punches and JTG hits a spinning elbow and a diving neckbreaker. Rube Goldberg backbreaker fails to get the three count. Chavo goes for the Frog Splash and wins. The right winner with the right finisher. A very watchable little match. Well done on both ends, but Chavo did a man’s work.
Jericho vs. Tatsu is the main and I am pretty stoked. This could be golden.
Oh great, it’s M-Dogg 20 and soe Canseco guy vs. Archer and Hawkins. Could they at least have a tag team name or something? Please? Matching tights? Better music? Something to make me give a Goddamn about them would be nice. Lance needs a singlet to cover the tramp stamp and Hawkins needs to stop being Stevie Richards 2K10. I have no reason to care about either team, but I do know that Cross and Conseco are jobbers. Archer certainly looks like a crazy redneck. A team with Mike Knox would have been so much better. SQUASH!
The Bellas are next, so just imagine two hot chicks doing stuff. Now imagine that with wrestling commentators over the top. Want to prevent premature ejaculation? Listen to Jerry
Lawler while you have sex. You might just never cum. Ever.
Yoshi comes out and the crowd goes nuts. They love the Tatsu and who can blame them. Jericho hits the thumb to the eye, pulls the hair, and punts Tatsu in the spine to start. Yes! A bit of continuity, selling Jericho as Barrett’s sensei. Tatsu is in control and climbs the top rope, but Jericho pushes him out. Just in time for a commercial break.
We are back and Yoshi si fighting from behind. Jericho clubberates Yoshi and tosses him to the floor again. Chris takes the time to lay down on the top rope in the corner. Nice. Blood
stoppage for a cut over Yoshi’s eye. I know some people hate the blood stoppage but I think it actually lends a sense of realism and, dare I say, class to the proceedings. This is a
perfect way to seperate wrestling from MMA. Jericho hits his nuts on the second rope and Tatsu takes advantage with a set of kicks but a boot in corner knocks him back to the mat. Snapmare to chinlock puts Jericho firmly in control and the crowd tries to resurrect Tatsu. Lionsault misses and Yoshi gets chop happy. Malenko style calf kick and it’s not enough. Jericho hits the Double Underhook Backbreaker. Tatsu corner knee, rollthrough and Shining Wizard. Two count. Jericho with the clothesline. Two count! Yoshi kick combo and he climbs the ropes. Don’t go for the Arn anderson double axe handle. Jericho ducks and gets the Walls of Jericho. Tatsu pulls towards the ropes but it is not enough. Jericho with the win! Nice main event. These are the sort of matches Ric Flair used to have on Saturday night for most of the 80′s. Great fun and a million times better than last week.
