I have been somewhat satisfied with RAW the past couple weeks. Not award-winning sports entertainment, but they managed to not piss me off and wail about the sad state of the sport for over a month. All of that came to a crashing halt on Monday night.
A long promo segment opens to set up for the main. The 5 minute main. The 15 minute promo for the 5 minute main. Want to diagnose what is wrong with the business? There is a big symptom right there. WE find out it is going to be a FAIR 6 on 1 match. Also, Cena calls out Sheamus, his arch enemy in the WWE at the moment, for not helping him. He’s going to guilt a heel into having morals.
We open with a Divas match. My favorite part was the Lawlor commentary. Sorry, Josh. His line about if he had all teh money he ever spent on Divas… he would spend it all again on Divas is autobiographical. Dude loves young trim and I can only assume he still gets it. It is actually a misdemeanor to refuse a Lawlor sexual advancement within the confines of Nashville city limits. Alicia Fox, always looking to innovate, hits her scissor kick to the back of Gail Kim. Painful, but not physically.
My problem with the Uso vs Hart feud is already well documented. The Usos don’t act heel enough and the only people i ever see them beat up are the Harts. What you have established are that the Uso are better than the Harts, but the Usos look like crap. I mean, in time i think they can get better… but right now this just isn’t getting over with me. They needed to be more establised before starting this feud. Usos win, perpetuating what we already know.
Dibiase and Maryse come out. They look good together. Then the promo starts and all those looks are meaningless without a mute button. They stir some Morrison into the already stinking shit shake… and for being in this as long as he has, Morrison should really be better on the mic. Just subdued and dull talking so there wouldn’t be dead air. Every joke here fails… and it fails hard. Did they even try that French Translation joke out on anyone before doing in live? A brief exchange and I need a drink… mind you I am watching this at 7 am.
We have Edge vs Orton next, and i feel kinda gross in saying that this was one of the highlights of the night. Not a great match, but after eating a plate of crap, a hot dog seems downright gourmet, you know? Run in at the end and Orton pops up to hit an RKO on the mid-flipping Evan Bourne. I was more impressed with Evan’s spinning jump kick to Orton’s jaw, but it isn’t as snazzy as a flip, i know.
Miz cut a decent promo on R-Truth and then threw Mark Henry into the makeshift podium. Now, as a person with some experience working with trussing as well as diamond-plated steel, in addition to experience in running into pretty solid objects, that podium wouldn’t hurt as bad as Henry was selling it. He knocked it into the air, how heavy can it be? Hell, he then caught it and pulled it back down. You trash video monitors at the commentary tables all the time, what is the big deal about a solid steel podium?
Also, if you are going to shoot over Cole’s shoulder when you show him getting an email, it shouldn’t be a Word document written in a script format. Most people can tell that difference. A guitar and a ukulele look similar, but you wouldn’t mistake one for the other. Honestly, I blame the cameraman and more so the director than anyone else for that mistake. Choose better shots.
Oh hey, Florence Henderson is on the show. I liked Regal’s comedy work in the promo. Doink will always get you a pop as long as you only pull him out of the moth balls once every couple of years. Finally got to see the Cobra. First time I saw it. No point in having Florence on. No point in the position. I think the only reason they are still doing it is that USA likes it. It gives them a promo tool. so the fed is obliging so USA can get a 3 sec clip for a promo.
Nexus vs Cena. MAIN EVENT!! WHOOO! Man, no one cared. Nexus beat up guys all night, but it didn’t make anyone care about this match. Five minutes of stupid, Nexus wins (as they should have) and then Sheamus comes out for a save? This angle muddies the psychology, and i don’t like it.
Man, when Miz and Orton are the strong points to your show, you know there wasn’t a lot of good in there.
That was RAW.
