Remember that pilot episode of Star Trek, where Admiral Pike was confined to a wheelchair? Apparently in the future the only way for him to communicate was by lighting up a light on his wheelchair? It would beep when it lit up, so you could know if he was telling you red or green. Amazing that the future could make a spaceship with windows, but not a better interface with a handicapped individual.
Anyway, I always thought that left a lot of room for interpretation. I mean, as long as you were asking him direct questions, you could confine everything to work out to yes and no answers. But what if the Admiral had to position a fleet of ships to flank the Klingons? How does he express that in bleep and blip?
My point with all of that is that I would love to have the new GM of RAW have no means of communication other that the little light up box. Let’s let everyone just try and figure out what he was saying instead of going through the motions of email. I would love for Michael Cole to go up to the podium, look at the glowing green light, and guess that the meaning is the GM wants the Match between Cena and Sheamus to be a Cage match.
Also, wouldn’t this be a great set up to have Cole go all heel and power hungry? Is anyone validating these E-mails? Just have it come out that Cole is saying whatever he wants when he gets up on that makeshift pulpit and he had been controling the WWE to his benefit as he saw fit. He makes a big power move for himself, a la the Emperor in Star Wars, and once everyone realizes it, it is too late. Just my own little fantasy booking… involving Michael Cole. I had no idea I was such a fan of his either.
The show opens with Sheamus doing his swerve promo and Cena coming out to get the crownd to actually pay attention. I don’t think that Sheamus is bad at promos, but he just isn’t grabbing the crowd beyond an inital pop. It will come in time (one hopes.) A lot of interruption from the GM, as well as some people missing cues, so the sound guys have to re-trigger the mail noise… either that or Cole is only reading select messages.
They also set up the stip for the show that Nexus can’t touch any superstars and the superstars can’t touch them. Now, I know when I am in trouble at work, i tend to play hard and fast with the wording of rules, because i know that is how you get respect at your place of employment. Also, Barrett is “at a meeting” over last week. And then there were six…
Oh, and they set up some matches for the evening.
Harts vs. Uzos doesn’t even actually happen. Think the Harts are pissed that uncle Bret, who they have talked about loving and respecting, went and signed a bunch of Polynesians to kick the crap out of them week after week without repercussion and then gets fired by the WWE , leaving them there to hopefully survive?
Koslov vs. Marella in a surprising little display that shows that both guys might actually be able to wrestle. Who would have though? They booked it proper, where Santino loses and thus doesn’t get Koslov as his partner, but then gets saved by Koslov when the angry Regal comes out to tar the Italian up a a bit.
I will say this, I was very impressed with how babyface, Koslov can get over with out speaking. He had an “aura” of babyfaceness that translated well on TV, and a very genuine smile. I bet he is a kind and compassionate lover… i mean… uh…
Weird backstage segment where Khali’s translator, who is apparently back after not being there for a while, has had enough of this and poops all over Khali while Khali just stands there and smiles, confused as to what is going on. It is the general look I have on my face when I watch RAW, so I think it is only appropriate that those within the organization show some confusion as well.
Rob Zombie comes out and he looks like a fucking hipster. Really, you can’t even get him into his stage drag? I mean, if there ever was a time to have a guest host in character, THAT would have been it. Instead he comes out to read a list of people in the MitB match at the MitB PPV. They awkwardly shoehorn in Edge, where it turns out that Zombie and Edge were dating or something and they had to divy up their CD collection when Rob moved out? Is that what everyone else got out of that exchange?
Rob then tells Edge he had a small dick, drops his mic and leaves, making his entire segment the most awkward guest hosting bit EVER. That is all you are going to have him do? Abandon the guest hosts already! PLEASE!
Edge impatiently bulldoeses his way into his promo (no wonder Rob dumped him) and reminds everyone when he was on the gas and had a hot valet. Edge had won a couple of these things, so he is bragging. It is what heels do. However, I don’t get why we needed a whole Titantron segment about it.
Sheamus has a match tonight, as set up by Michael Cole’s email. He takes on Mark Henry. Henry does his power stuff, but doesn’t see the Brogue kick coming. Yes, it’s called the Brogue kick. They said it on the show, but Lawler let out a really loud “GOSH!” or “GOLLY!” and it was pretty tough to hear… which is probably for the best. What the hell does “Brogue kick” even mean? Only the Japanese are allowed to give their moves rediculous names that make no sense when you put the words together. Get it together, WWE creative!
Ricky Steamboat gets some on air time to plus his new DVD, and he gets a visit from… a bunch of legends that I don’t really associate with Steamboat. I mean, I might be too young to remember it all, but I don’t remember any of them really having any association with Ricky. Couldn’t get Sarge or Piper to come back for a one off? Anyway, you need cannon fodder for the Nexus, and beating up legends gets you heat, even if why they are out there doesn’t make sense.
I liked that they showed the Nexus as a cunning group, picking off the Legends with the high ground one by one. Eventually they take out everyone but Ricky and then group beatdown on him for a stretcher job. I like that Gabriel looks pensive before he does the 450. It’s a good peg to hang the face turn on later. Word is he was terrified to have to do teh 450 to VKM, and i can only imagine the same is true for doing it to Steamboat.
See, cuz they are LEGENDS, not superstars? See the semantical difference? The WWE won’t do anything for them becasue the Nexus caught them on a loophole. Again, I know most companies are fine with the behavior like this. Same reason none of the susperstars came down to help the legends: The WWE would have come down swift and heavy-handed at anyone who would have helped out a bunch of geriatric road agents getting the AARP kicked out of them.
Women’s match. I will only say that from now on Alicia Fox should do her scissor kick with the “wrap your leg around the person’s head” follow through. Makes it look really brutal. It probably IS pretty brutal, but I think it is worth a few dead Divas if it means getting that move over.
Eight man action with the tag match. Good little pair ups and small spots to try to get you interested in the MitB. Keep the heat on Bourne cuz it makes the most sense. Weird finish of Orton finally getting a tag in and immediately ending the match with the RKO. Screamed of someone getting the “take it home” signal.
They all do the retarded spot each year where there is a schmoz and someone sets up a ladder to get the breifcase with nothing in it. The idiot gets pushed off the ladder and someone else goes up and poses to end the show. I should applaud the WWE for the eco-freindly recycling efforts, but it is almost literally what they did last year.
I didn’t hate it, i didn’t love it. Their ratings have bumped half a point since the NXT angle, I hope they can keep it hot and keep it interesting… but they clearly need to rethink some things as it stands right now.
-Ryan
