Counting The Lights

-As screwey as the draft is, and as badly as ECW’s roster was gutted, Im glad that William Regal was moved to ECW. At least there they will use him, get him on the mic etc. instead of having him stand around lost in the shuffle. Im anxiously awaiting him having a match with the kid who says “Whoo Whoo” and blowing up his cardio.

-Im more upset about them moving the Hart Dynasty than anything else. I thought they were starting to get some buzz and I liked the idea of them working with Christian and whoever rather than see them go to Smackdown and stand in the background of Edge and Jericho.

-the guest GM spot on RAW is only worth it if they build to the logical conclusion–get Steve Austin on all week, hopefully to set up the stips/angles for Summerslam.

-ether Austin or Axl Rotten. The people would go ape shit for Axl Rotten!

Andy

IT would almost be a beer report but that is Raven Mack’s gimmick and I don’t want to step on that.

So I watched the ECW. Since I’ve been part of the podcast I at least try and watch some of the current wrestling [except I cant stomach RAW, record TNA on my DVR and then fast forward to Mick Foley and/or Raven, don’t bother with Smackdown, and Sam won’t tape AAA for any of us] I end up watching ECW because I like to have a few beers to wind down the night and ECW is on at the right time, and actually doesn’t annoy the Hell out of me.

Tonight started out at the Pirates game [where Ian Snell did a picture perfect shit the bed in the third—50 pitches, couple walks, four runs, etc.] so I had to put some Natural Lights in the freezer to get em nice and cold the way I like them.

First match was Evan Bourne vs Tyson Kidd, which had just enough flippy shit to keep it interesting without being ridiculous. Evan swears to continuity and keeps selling the ribs, even as he uses them as an offensive tool against Tyson. Tyson has the silly hair in the front but he offers that up so that he doesn’t have to say Woo Woo and wear half pants. Evan wins with the shooting star press hoping he doesn’t hit a Lesner on the way down.

Findlay comes out next, cuts a promo on Tommy and Christian, saying he’s not a heel, but they hurt his eye, he worried about his family, so eye for an eye. Being Irish and middle aged myself, I feel for Findlay. Here’s a guy who’s had to fight for everything he’s got. He looks at the Ireland today, and he doesn’t see the county he grew up in. He looks at his people now, and how they sent there children to get educated, and get with all the new technology, and how they are all getting fat and rich, and doesn’t see the Ireland of his youth. He looks across the ring and doesn’t see the men he fought so many wars over. So now he just tries to make his place. And then the Woo Woo Kid comes out with his silly tights and his silly phrase [and I feel bad for him as well. All those years being a ‘young boy’ in the Japanese dojo, being convinced by the kids in Ahkiharbra that the half tights and the Woo Woo would make him a huge star—all his dreams just a rib…] and Findlay has to man up and give him the beat down. And beat him down he does.

They do some fun videos which lets me go to the basement to fetch more beer so I miss the RAW recap but do manage to see Matt Stryker in the ring with the chalk board explaining how the PPV match will work. I can see Vince blowing a gasket for one of his guys trying to explain rules and stips and such. I did get to see the bit where Shane Helms is interviewing Mark Henry and does the Hurricane gimmick to save the stage hand and poor Mark Henry has this look on his face realizing he’s going to have to work with this guy for the next six months. And that his manager helped Invader 3 get away with murdering Bruiser Brody. And that there is much wrong with this world.

Before the main event they do a promo for the PPV and I realize they have changed the name of the event from the Great American Bash to just the Bash and to that I take issue.
Ok I get some schlub in marketing must have said “Hey lets take the ‘American’ name out since the people who actually still buy the PPV’s might not like the name ‘American’ in the title” and that is just wrong. For one thing I think Great American Bash makes the event sound more exciting. Just because it’s a holiday from another country doesn’t mean I don’t want to see it. Hell Id buy the shit out of AAA Day of the Dead Massacre or Pro Wrestling Noah’s Golden Week Kings Road Warriors. I think the name adds to the flavour and the grandeur of the show—as much as a WEE show can have of that. Plus Dusty Rhodes came up with the name and was smart enough to know that taking the opportunity to wave the flag never hurt any of his box offices. If the name is good enough for Dusty than dammit its good enough for me!

Main is Christian and Tommy vs Mark Henry & Jack Swagger. Tommy is the last man standing in ECW because he has always been about the heart and the fighting spirit and not the flippy shit . Christian is just the cool guy whos the great wrestler and just tries to stay under Vince’s radar so he doesn’t have to wear funky tights and say goofy phrases. All these men are in the goofy ppv main event which no one in the states will watch but will be talked about for years in Mexico [where they are all about the PPVs]. They fight back and forth. I am tucked into my beer at this point so I don’t remember who did what to whom. At the end Christian counts the lights and there is a great schmazz to end the match and to entice everyone to buy the PPV. Its just entices me to throw a few more beers in the freezer and see if AWA Classics is on tonight.

-Andy

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