This is not an appolgy. This is me adding more to my previous post.
If you have a problem with me then just tell me. I am sure you all have my number. I have no personal “I want to fight you beef.” But I have lost respect for you and no longer consider you friends. A friend to me is someone who has your back no matter what. So I will end it at this. Don’t complain to other people about it or make threats that will not be followed up on. There is no reason to fight. If you caught feelings about my previous post then that is your problem. I named no names or refered to anyone other then Jake. So if you feel angry about the last post then perhaps you have some guilt with it…
Archive for April, 2009
Noah Part 2
Thursday, April 30th, 2009Really? Written by Noah so don’t cry or blame anyone else.
Thursday, April 30th, 2009So if you would like to be trained by guys who are smaller then me but have wrestled at your local middle school, gave a 4 star spot fest and still made it home in time to deliver your pizza in 30 minutes or less then the IWC school might just be for you. Please note I am not recomnding this school but if you want to waste your money and work for Norm for free for the next 12 years of your life then go for it. PS if you play your cards right you too could go to black diamond wrestling! (Sorry Jake I still love you!)
And if you do go there to train please ask CTL to help you with your new gimmick I think we can come up with something better then what you thought of yourself. Perhaps a gay dancer? Also if please note if your trainers talk as much shit on their “boss” and then snitch back to him about everyone else please watch your back there because it too will happen to you.
THIS IS FUCKING GAY
Thursday, April 30th, 2009
Joe Babinsack is from Pittsburgh, too, and he writes for the Observer site. He wrote this and it has a lot of what I was trying to get at in my writing as of late:
http://www.f4wonline.com/content/view/9153/
I’ve had this debate a lot, lately, and I am just going to say how I feel.
Those that win wars can write history any way that pleases them. Vince owns wrestling now. That’s true. He owns every tape library and at this point, he is the custodian of wrestling history. But what he wants is not wrestling any more. After all, he is the man who single handedly pulled wrestling out of smoke-filled arenas into glitzy places and made it family friendly and popular.
I’ve been a wrestling fan since 1978. The same buildings I went to see wrestling at as a kid are the same arenas that run wrestling now. But there is no live show that I want to see.
The “rasslin’” as decried by WWE is what made me love the sport. It’s the simple fact of two people hating one enough to fight. Simple. Easy. Fucking glorious.
Today, wrestling is homogenized. Everyone is the same, scripted to be the same, and wins, losses and titles are taught to not even be important. They are told not to commentate on matches as if they are legitimate contests.
What we see now is not what I grew up on. No one lives and dies with their wrestlers. No one screams until they are hoarse. It’s all just moves, it’s all just entertainment. It’s like if in the middle of a movie, Bruce Willis turned to you and said, hey, I won’t get killed, but if I do, it’s just a movie. That’s what wrestling does to me every time I watch it today.
I think a lot about how I can save wrestling. Or make it better. And I can’t. I already tried and recent events have shown me that I have absolutely failed.
I wish I could do more than spit into the wind. But damn, I do such an entertaining job of it, you know?
TNA is just WWE lite. ROH is like a Star Trek convention, playing to its fans and letting you know how dumb you are if you don’t get it. The biggest downside of their new TV was that they switched the entrance music. Wah. Dude, you should be able to get over without any music at all.
Isn’t it sad that UFC does exactly what pro wrestling used to do…and has more buzz and makes more money? Seems like there is a lesson in there. But hey, we all ignore history.
The sadder thing is, the heroes of my youth, or the villains, would never make it through developmental: Buddy Rose, for one. Cactus Jack. Vader. None of them had the look.
I just don’t want to only watch old tapes. I want something better. Something new. Good wrestling is the easiest thing to make: a storyline of two people who must fight. Yet, instead, I watch the boss’s kid use a kendo stick. Funny, for as much as Vince hates old ECW, his kid uses everyone’s spots from there.
Joe’s thoughts on this were very well organized and mine aren’t. But I just wanted to say what has been on my mind.
The simple fact is, Vince wants to be mainstream. It’s like porn actresses. They want that, too. Never ends up working out.
- Sam
Guest ECW review
Wednesday, April 29th, 2009Hi, my name is UCNTCME92 and I am a big fan of Counting the Lights. Sam cut his finger at work and can’t type and asked me to review ECW for him. I jumped at the chance because the internet is a great forum for fans like me to tell WWE everything we like about their wrestling.
I am sorry, I mean entertainment product!
I still am mad about Big Show screwing my man on Sunday! THAT WAS BULLSHIT DOG!
Jack Swagger and the new guy, Christian, who just won the belt, were talking. That old guy came out, Tommy Dreamer and said that he wants a title shot, but I have never seen him win a match. Sam for some reason always writes about how awesome he is but I have watched every ECW match since it started 2 years ago and he is epic fail. LOL. HAHA YOU ARE OLD. Christian now has to fight him and Jack Swagger should get a rematch! THIS IS MAKING ME SO MAD!
Tyson Kidd fought Hornswoggle’s dad. It makes me sad they can’t see each other any more. This match had too much moves and it bored me. I almost got on Facebook, but as a loyal WWE Universe member, I had to watch.
Some guy named Gregory Helms was out and I think he used to be a wrestler. I am sorry. Sports entertainer.
Dreamer and Christian fought but I was so happy Jack Swagger came out. I think he is going to be the next Batista! Wait a second. Sam is yelling something into my headset. I have no idea what 2 girls, 1 cup means. Why do you keep yelling that? What does Tommy Dreamer have to do with shit? I mean, I’m 13 and that joke is old. Oh man, did you guys see jEfF hArDy all made up backstage on Smackdown? I love it! He beat his brother up so bad!
This will be my last ECW review, because next week the show is on at 10 and I am only allow to stay up until then.
“Playboy” Buddy Rose…
Wednesday, April 29th, 2009…is dead. I don’t have a picture with him, nor do I have a signed action figure, so don’t blame me. I was always a fan of Buddy, he was a good worker despite his weight gains. He was always entertaining.
This is especially bitter for Noah and me. We both feel that the AWA is the best wrestling group running today. With stars such as Buck Zumhoff and Rocky Mountain Thunder, names I’m sure we will be seeing a lot of in the upcoming years, it’s established itself as the major league of professional wrestling. If they listen to Big K, there’s no telling where their careers will go. Straight to the top is my guess.
It’s just a shame that I’ll never see Buddy Rose on AWA again. He will be missed.
- Deek
TNA does something right
Tuesday, April 28th, 2009Monday, April 27th, 2009
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a better match. Ever.
Rocky Mountain Thunder.
Dude, but seriously.
OH JEEZ OH CRIMINY!
The voice of wrestle in the United States of America
How the fuck did AWA stay on the air?
This is the most carny thing I have ever seen.
I can now sleep so much better.
- Sam
A Raw Diet: Raw is the 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania is Still a Year Away
Monday, April 27th, 2009Randy Orton opened with a promo mixed with a video. I was asleep. Brian woke me with a text. The lights were all out, my dog was sleeping next to me and the air was nice and warm. This would be the best part of my night.
Big Show was announced as the world’s largest 7 foot athlete. You know. Unless someone is taller than 7 foot tall.
Orton talked, MVP came out and you know, I have spent the last hour trying to come up with words that would sell to you how under MVP was. I mean, he was like…the crowd wanted someone to take out Orton. They wanted a hero. They were given MVP. They should have sent Sir Mix a Lot and a square ass out to fight him.
Brian Kendrick worked Koofey. Hello, Paul London? This is Ian Rotten. How do you feel about working Kendrick in front of 110 of my fans? OK. Keep that in mind soon.
During this match, four times, Lawler said that the match was too fast to call. By that, he means, this match is too fast to get yelled at what I should say over the headsets. It gets more obvious every week that they are being screamed at.
Matt Hardy worked hurt. Are you surprised? This is the dude who came back and put over the dude who stole the love of his life. If his mom came back to life, and he had the choice of taking her to dinner or putting over Shad Gaspar, he’d be counting the lights™ in a fucking New York minute.
Somewhere in here, a bunch of Divas and Hornswoggle did some shit.
I have never heard a more quiet Raw. I mean, I keep thinking they aren’t mic’ing the crowd correctly. But no. No one cares. And that kick on Triple H looked like shit. Like Kawada, but if Kawada was a slow moving second generation glorified midcarder who looked more like a swimmer than a bad ass heel. So yeah. That’s it.
MVP fought Randy Orton but haw haw haw it was all a backdrop for Shane McMahon and they just announced their match and people…groaned. Audibly. That and Carlito yelled MIZUNKYFLIP in his match. That match was good, it was an actual match in the midst of this and well, yeah. Next – Batista vs. Big Show.
And yeah. That was…70,000 volts cannot kill John Cena.
You know. The things I do for this site.
This was what I call pain. PAIN. Pure pain.
There you go.
Raw is pain.
- Sam
Backlash – I didn’t watch it which qualifies me to review it.
Monday, April 27th, 2009Kane beat Punk with two hands. Santina/Santino/Beth/Khlai all made a big abortion and talked about it for awhile. Steamboat lost to Jericho. Jeff Hardy duct taped his brother to a table and they talked about their dead mom, which means it’s a shoot, and he put his brother into the table or through it or maybe they both died, I didn’t watch. Let’s pretend, for a minute, that they both died, the camera followed them through the funerals as a time lapse and we saw how their feud tore their families apart and all the horrors of that, and the camera follows them to the pearly gates and St. Peter says, “Only one of you gets into heaven.” The camera, of course, follows them, because the WWE camera is an omniscient narrator. Jeff aligns with the good guys and Matt meets Satan. This one is for all the marbles. They have this awesome match, I mean, it’s fucking amazing. It’s got ladders, tables, barbed wire, chairs, fire, Jeff’s awesome artwork (the dude is leaving the fed to do art. You know, I’m sure no one wanted to tell him his art sucked after his mom died, and they were like, just be nice to Jeff. Well, 20 years later, fucking Jeff thinks he’s an artist and can leave WWE to do art full-time. Really? Really.), 3 motorcross bikes, a giant paper mache effigy of Rocco Siffredi’s penis and the Banana Splits. At the end, Jeff has Matt on the table again, and Matt is begging him to let him go. Jeff starts thinking, should he? Should he save his brother? At that moment, his mom, who is an angel, because everyone who dies becomes an angel even though that appears nowhere in the Bible and we all just think Dante’s Divine Comedy is how heaven really is, appears and Jeff says, “What do I do, mama?” And she puts her arms out like Tommy Dreamer and says, “It’s time to get fucking EXTREME.” Jeff sends his brother right to hell and all night long, the sounds of Hatebreed and Nickleback and Saliva fill the clouds of heaven as Jeff jumps BMX bikes and the seaphim have their fill of oxycotin.
Also, last night, I saw a potential fight at Wal-Mart at 2 AM. A Wal-Mart worker said some shit to someone, who didn’t appreciate it. So the guy kept walking away and coming back, which is so awesomely white trash, in that you HAVE to get the last word, and kept coming back, so the fight sounded like this:
WM GUY: Good night, you have a good night.
GUY: You are out of line.
WM GUY: OK, good night, sir.
GUY: You don’t talk to me like you did.
WM GUY: Thanks for coming to Wal-Mart. Drive safe.
GUY: Don’t get all polite.
WM GUY: Why don’t you call the main office and tell them my name is Mark and you aren’t happy?
Guy walks away.
Guy comes back.
GUY: Mark, you were out of line the way you talked to me.
Now.
Imagine being in line and hearing this repeat as they get closer and closer to each other’s faces.
In my dreams, Matt Hardy’s fall to hell goes through both of them, sets the store ablaze, and I die in the ensuing conflagration.
Edge beat Cena with Big Show’s help which makes no sense. Christian beat Swagger and yay, OK, time to fight a Russian. Triple H took the punt, he got stretchered out and people sang goodbye to him, which means he’s back on TV tonight.
See, when I don’t watch a PPV I write a much, much better review.
- Sam
Fuck you, TNA.
Friday, April 24th, 2009I can’t even begin to explain how wrong this is…
Billy, you know better, don’t you? I mean, you were cool once. You had hair once too, I guess…
Just play the fucking song, TNA. Just play the FUCKING SONG!!
Oh, and putting the strap on someone under 40 might be kinda hot too.
And dont get me started on trying to rebrand Christopher Daniels.
