Let’s start with the most basic statement I can: The first hour of RAW was the best hour of RAW I have seen in so long, I can’t compare it to any others. If RAW was that compelling every week, they would be pulling down 7-9 in the ratings again.
We are in Chicago. There apparently is a movement to #hijackraw, which is #gaytarded. I apologize to all of the people i offended with that, but there is no word in the English language (or the portmanteau language I created to come up with “gaytarded”) that describes wrestling fans trying to ruin the show that they are paying to see better than that. The big question was “Will CM Punk return?” it was his hometown of Chicago. Punk, the idealist of the wrestling world, stuck to his guns and was not there. Consequently, the WWE used him without having to cut him any more of a paycheck.
Paul Heyman pulled of the promo of a lifetime. He both was loyal to his friend and at the same time got over the match that he was out to promote. The 20 minutes of Paul in the ring talking were a lesson in how to control a crowd. It could have turned at any moment, but Paul kept them on the path. Then Brock came out and I remember his voice cracking when he yelled his own name, in case you were wondering what it sounded like to be Sable in bed. Yes, she yells his full name. This brings out Mark Henry, who has a score to settle from the last beat down Brock gave him. Everything looked pretty stiff here, especially the shot with the steel steps. Again, Henry ends up laid out and Brock looks like a guy manhandling a drugged gorilla.
We move on to the Usos again taking on the New Age Outlaws. Maybe because i watch both shows, this seemed out of place to me. You don’t follow a win over the champs with a six man before the title shot that is also on free TV. Anyway, it already seemed odd. I am impressed at how well the NAO still move. In any case, no one sees the swerve booking coming and the Usos get the belts off of DX a month before mania. So we are just done with the Rhodes? Or do they get factored in later? The rumors keep saying they will fight each other at Mania, but their has been zero promotion to that idea s of yet and Mania is creeping up on us.
The Real Americans are just fucking with each other now. Twice.
The Wyatts are facing the Shield. I like that they did an individualized entrance video for the city. I hope they do that every night. After a good back and forth between the teams and the tease that Ambrose is not their for them anymore, it is Seth Rollins who walks on the group. He cries like a teenage girl that he is tired of being the glue holding this together. Despite that temper tantrum, they still had a great match and the Wyatts scored a win over the top 3-man unit in the WWE. The Wyats are in two programs. this seems a little fractured to me, but i would rather it be like this than to have them immediately dump the Shield story to concentrate on Cena.
Emma does the Muta lock. This was the beginning of the end of that great hour of TV. At least it was short and Santino is entertaining. Sheamus and Christian was the opposite. It would have been entertaining had it been about half it’s length. It just never connected. The false finishes and unique ways to get people in moves all fell flat to me save for the Brogue kick on the outside to the inside.
The Bellas are terrible. Alicia Fox is still a ball of sex.
Triple H buries Daniel, but see it is so Daniel can rise above it. Except it really doesn’t feel that way. I keep harping on it, but it hasn’t changed at all: I don’t think HHH gets anyone over that isn’t HHH.
I felt like i should have seen it coming. The star of Need 4 Speed is the “guest host” on the show. ADR used to come out in cars. Aaron Paul hasn’t been seen all night. It was a good entrance. Ziggler i guess is done calling out Batista. ADR i Guess is done calling out Batista. Thus they take on each other. Fine match except that I don’t see how ADR is dumb enough to get distracted by someone not even in the match. That is one of his tricks, you think he could guard against it. Ziggler picks up the win and is a champion for reckless drivers everywhere!
John Cena tells the Wyatts he isn’t scared. Bray tells John that he will put him down like a racehorse t hat finally slowed down. Normally you breed those, not kill them. But that is just because of my extensive equestrian background and knowledge of animal husbandry. if they have a 1-on-1 at WM30, Wyatt has to wear the butchers smock. He HAS to! For MEEEE!!!!
The finish was overbooked. Instead of Bryan v. Batista, it ends up Bryan v. Batista, Orton, Kane, HHH and Steph is there too. I get it, the face is outgunned but still keeps fighting. I liked the kick to HHH when he tried to promo. But still, do you have a big enough payoff for how deep you are burying Bryan? I am not saying you don’t, I am just saying that historically, you haven’t.
PS – Why the WWE won’t ever do another animated movie unless it is with South Park Studios: The New Scooby Doo movie they did features Brodus Clay and Sin Cara as selling points. Is the villain Waylon Mercy?